alone in the pretense

a fan fiction archive


Oh! The Places You'll Go!

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
– Dr. Seuss

First, let me begin this post by saying that I’m incredibly sorry for the site being down for so long. That was never my intention.

Secondly, I have to preface the rest of this post by saying that this was not easy for me to write. I’ve put it off for months, which is part of the reason the site was down for so long.

I think it has been abundantly clear that I have not been nearly as active in the Hanfic world as I used to be. While I am still love Hanson (and likely always will), my desire to write fan fiction has disappeared. For a couple of years I struggled with writing. Then last November during NaNoWriMo I decided to try my hand at writing original fiction and I found myself remembering why I loved writing. It seemed to be wake up I needed to realized that part of my struggle with writing lie in what I was trying to write.

I’ve been writing fan fiction for a very long time – at least half of my life, and while I’d always planned to switch to original fiction at some point, I found myself too comfortable with the fan fiction community to branch out. However, many of my stories became less and less about writing fan fiction or anything to do with Hanson. In my mind, aside from the names several of my stories are original fiction. Having my drive to write renewed during NaNoWriMo seemed seemed to be the push I needed to finally step outside of the box I’d allowed myself to get stuck in, which is why I’ve decided to step away from writing fan fiction.

As you may have already noticed, I’ve removed most of my fiction from the site. Because some kind soul(s) was/were kind enough to nominate me at the Blank Page awards, I’ve left Under Dust Painted Skies and Orange Sky up until the awards are over, and my collaborations are also still available. Some of my other stories can also be found on other sites for various challenges as well. And, because I don’t want people to be angry with me, I am willing to email PDF versions of the stories to those that ask. The exception is Infinite and Solace.

Which brings me to my next point, I am publishing Infinite (and the rest of the Strange and Beautiful series). I am currently in the process of doing the final edits for the story, and the plan is for it to be available in June. This story and series have always, in my mind, been an original piece of fiction. The story is essentially the same as what I originally posted online, but there have been some changes with things being added or taken away, and, of course, any characters resembling real people have been changed into the person I always saw in my head.

As for Solace, I know many of you have been waiting to read the entire story, and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’ve taken it down and am forcing you to purchase it (when it’s availabe) to find out how the story ends. I intend to revise it quite extensively because I struggled so much with trying to write the story as fan fiction and the story I wanted to write sort of got away from me, so I expect the finished product to have some similiarites but a different execusion of those ideas.

I truly am sad and nervous about leaving this type of writing. The Hanson community has been a big part of my life, and while I will no longer be writing it in, I may still read and will definitely hang around for the music. I’m not planning to disappear completely. I expect my level of participation will probably stay about the same as it has been in the last year or so, which is to say pretty low key as someone who just enjoys the music.

As for, it is renewed until December of this year. I’m not planning to close it down because there are several people hosted here. However, if I do end up closing the site, I will make sure everyone has a new home before doing so.

Lastly, I just want to extend my thanks and appreciation to everyone who has visited the site over the years. Your kind words and support of my work over the years means so much to me; words cannot express how much that means to me. It’s been an amazing ride, and I’ve truly been blessed because I met all of my closest and dearest friends through the Hanfic community. I can’t and won’t ever forget that.

My hope is that everyone will understand my decision and respect it. I know, realistically, that some of you might be angry or disappointed. To the former, thank you, and the latter I am sorry, but I have to do what is right for me, and this feels like the right decision.

For anyone who would like to keep up with my progress on my publishing venture, you can visit my website at To those people who would like a PDF version of any of my stories, please email me at with the subject “PDF” and a list of the stories you’d like.

And if you’ve like to contact me regarding this news, you can leave a comment, which I can directly reply to, or sign the guestbook (although I don’t know how long that will remain up).

Thank you for reading, and I wish you all the best and hope to see you around!